she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
