Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
