Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
