They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
