But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
