just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
