I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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