im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
