I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
