By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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