apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
