so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
