Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
