took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
