I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
this beer tastes like vomit already
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
