yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I will pee on everything he values.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
