Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
