i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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