i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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