discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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