Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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