I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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