Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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