Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
