woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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