Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
