Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
