It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize