Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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