you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think people are normalizing furries
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
