Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
