Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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