I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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