If that was your dad, he is hot
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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