explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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