On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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