She is in my trunk
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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