question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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