Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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