Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
