Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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