I wish I could punch you in the face.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
