Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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