i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Randomize
