when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I didn't shave. On purpose
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
