i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
