Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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