If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
you made out with another girl for some wings
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
