Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
