R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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