I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
