the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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