remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
