i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
