your parents love me but you hate me
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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