so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
