i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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