You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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