Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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