Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
