Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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