yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
