I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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