Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
