The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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