I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You made out with two different species that night
Alive.
So much puke
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
