No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
