Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
