Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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