i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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