tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
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you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
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pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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