her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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